‘I’m Not Tipping Anymore’: Psychology Expert Reveals How Servers and Bartenders Manipulate Customers Using the ‘Ben Franklin Effect’

LINCOLN, Neb. — A self-proclaimed psychology expert is pulling back the curtain on what she says are mental tricks servers and bartenders use to boost their tips, revealing tactics that have left viewers questioning whether they’re being subtly manipulated during their next night out.

TikTok creator Scarlett (@scarlettreadspeople) shared the viral breakdown in a video that’s already been viewed more than 11,000 times, explaining two specific psychological methods she says helped her earn $1,000+ nights without giving away free drinks.

The video — captioned “How To Make More Tips Using Psychology” — has sparked widespread debate, with some viewers calling the advice “clever” and others saying it proves tipping culture has gone too far.

How Servers Use the ‘Ben Franklin Effect’

In the video, Scarlett introduces what she calls the Ben Franklin Effect, a concept in behavioral psychology suggesting that when someone does you a favor, their brain subconsciously convinces them that they like you more — because it wouldn’t make sense to help someone they disliked.

“The reason why this works is because their brain tricks them into thinking they like you more than they actually do,” she says in the clip. “They wouldn’t do a favor for someone they didn’t like.”

To illustrate, Scarlett gives an example: instead of asking a customer to leave a review outright, servers can frame it as a friendly favor tied to a contest.

“All the servers are competing for the most Google or Yelp reviews,” she suggests saying. “If I win, I get a day off. If you think you’ve had great service and want to help me out, please leave a review.”

That framing, she claims, encourages empathy — and often leads to bigger tips or better online reviews.

The ‘Mini Conspiracy’ Trick

Scarlett’s second tactic involves making customers feel like insiders — a trick she calls the “Mini Conspiracy” method.

“Have you ever felt like you’re in on a secret? It makes you feel special,” she explains. “That’s what this is.”

For example, she suggests a server could say:

“I’m not supposed to say this, but our chocolate cake isn’t made in-house. If you’re choosing between that and the cheesecake, I’d go cheesecake. But you didn’t hear that from me.”

By sharing “exclusive” or “secret” information, Scarlett says servers create a bond of trust that often translates to more generous tipping.

Other examples include mentioning “hidden favorites” on the menu or casually revealing which dish is most popular with locals or celebrities.

“Bringing them in on the secret makes them feel important, valued, and connected to you,” she adds.

Tipping Fatigue in America

Scarlett’s revelations come at a time when tipping culture is facing growing backlash.

According to a Pew Research Center survey, 72% of U.S. adults say tipping is expected in more places now than it was five years ago — and 57% say they feel negatively about it.

More than 40% of respondents said they feel annoyed when asked to tip before receiving a service, while others admit to feeling pressured or guilty when prompted by digital checkout screens.

The result, economists say, is “tipping fatigue” — a cultural frustration fueled by the constant expectation to tip, even for basic or self-service experiences.

“It’s not just about gratitude anymore,” said a hospitality industry analyst. “It’s about social pressure — and people are starting to resent it.”

Online Reactions: Clever or Manipulative?

Viewers flooded Scarlett’s comments section with a mix of amusement, frustration, and skepticism.

One commenter joked, “The customer: oh, so you’ve seen the TikTok too, huh?”

Another wrote, “After seeing how waiters make $50 an hour, I’m done tipping.”

Former servers even admitted they’d used similar tactics successfully. “I used the favor thing and always won contests,” one wrote.

Others, however, called the video manipulative: “Great. More fleecing of the customers.”

A Larger Debate About Gratitude vs. Expectation

The debate raises a deeper question: is tipping still about rewarding good service — or just social conditioning?

While Scarlett insists her advice simply helps service workers make a fair living, many viewers argue that tactics like these blur the line between hospitality and manipulation.

Still, one thing is clear — in a world where every checkout screen asks for a 25% tip, customers are becoming more aware of how psychology and guilt influence their spending.

Would you still tip after learning these tactics — or is tipping culture officially out of control? Share your thoughts and join the conversation at NapervilleLocal.com.

Author: Avery Hughes Category: Lifestyle